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At 4

At 4 ,

He is afraid of failure. Afraid to try and not reach perfection.

He is willing to fall asleep, but only if we stay near him.

He is able; able to brush and wash and put away and follow, but he still prefers some help, a hand, a reminder, even arms to carry him.

At 4,

He recognizes the force behind words; sometimes, he uses that force to build, sometimes to destroy.

He realizes that actions and words have consequences, but he doesn’t always have the foresight to realize in time.

He engages and connects with little boy tricks and antics: You’ve gotta see this” .

At 4,

He is a big brother, and still my little boy- and big versus little rolls across his face like storm clouds.

He is kind and considerate, and selfish and egotistical.

He is funny and clever, confident and unsure.

At 4,

He is my shadow- stretching away from me in the daylight and disappearing into me in the dark.
He is all things good and all things hard.

He is more mine and less mine than he’s ever been.




I have a Master's degree in Secondary Education, a Bachelor's degree in English, and a Secondary Ed teaching license. I also have a four year old son, a one year old son, a husband, and a cat. Let's see how those degrees help me manage my life..... Spoiler alert- they just decorate the walls.

One thought on “At 4

  1. Some of that doesn’t change for parenting, ever.
    There become minute, separations only you will know have occurred….less explanations of events to come, more allowing him to “fail” (in ever so tiny areas) and slowly he sees himself as a separate entity. Totally able to navigate, safely alone.
    And you as home base. 💗


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